love
Life

I Lost My First Love, And I Say Good Riddance

Once upon a time, I was in love.

There was once a time when if someone asked me if I would love a man addicted to drugs, I would have laughed in their face. If someone asked me that now, I would probably be unable to speak. You can’t pick who you fall in love with or when. It picks you and the person.

Love was always a mystery to me, and I wish that I did not know what I do now. We started our journey together exactly six years ago today. Looking back on it, the start was perfect for us. We had met years before with you instantly being smitten with me. It took me longer to see the charm that you had. I never would have dreamed I would fall in love with you if you would have asked me on the day we met. You seemed like a little kid back then, but I did fall in love with you. That was a mistake on my part.

Our love began innocent enough. You had loved me for a while at that time, and I had just revealed my feelings for you. You were sweet, funny, and you treated me like queen. I simply adored you. We were a perfect match at the start. My heart had no clue what was going to happen very, very soon.

The First Year was awful.

Our first year together brought on lies, cheating on your part, and lots of crying on mine. We made it through after all that. Then came the second year. That was the year that you decided to start to do drugs. It really wasn’t bad at first. It was a hobby, and you said you could stop if you wanted. I trusted you.

The next two years were worse than the first.

Flash forward to the last two years, you got addicted to those drugs. I was afraid of them hurting you, but I could not make you stop. You never did quit even after you promised me you would stop. You started doing other kinds of drugs. I was worried for you and scared at the same time. You started keeping a list of things you did that I wasn’t allowed to do. It was like you were my keeper rather than the partner I wanted you to be for me. You changed into a drug addict that I was hopelessly in love with. I stayed with you through all that. My heart couldn’t take the thought of not having you.

There was one night when I begged you to stop. You were not the same person I fell in love with. The thought of leaving you killed me. To this day, thinking of me hurting you makes my chest tight. I made you pick me or the drugs. You said you would stop, and we could be okay again. That’s all I wanted. I always only ever wanted you. You lied to me. You didn’t stop. My whole heart was with you, and you crushed it. You hid everything from me. Staying with you was going to kill me.

Why did I stay with someone like that? I was in love with him.

So I left you. I still can’t think of you and not fight back tears. You were the first person to love me for me, and Divine knows I loved you. I just hope that the drugs were worth it.  So after all that we went through, I lost you, the first person I ever loved. Life has a way of taking the things we love from us all too soon. I regret not leaving you years before I did. The person I fell in love with wasn’t around for a few years before I saw the truth. My one regret is falling for you before I knew the real you.

I don’t love you anymore, and that makes me very proud of myself.

21 thoughts on “I Lost My First Love, And I Say Good Riddance

  1. Have you ever considered about including a little bit more than just your
    articles? I mean, what you say is important and everything.
    However imagine if you added some great pictures or
    video clips to give your posts more, “pop”! Your content is excellent but with images and video
    clips, this site could definitely be one of the most beneficial in its niche.

    Superb blog!

  2. Greetings! I know this is kinda off topic but I’d figured I’d ask.
    Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest authoring
    a blog article or vice-versa? My site addresses a lot of the same
    topics as yours and I believe we could greatly benefit from
    each other. If you are interested feel free to
    shoot me an email. I look forward to hearing from you! Awesome blog by
    the way!

  3. Heya i am for the first time here. I found this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and help others like you helped me.

  4. hi!,I love your writing very a lot! share we keep in touch more about your article on AOL? I require an expert in this space to resolve my problem. Maybe that’s you! Taking a look forward to peer you.

  5. Wow! This can be one particular of the most useful blogs We have ever arrive across on this subject. Actually Fantastic. I am also a specialist in this topic so I can understand your hard work.

  6. I think this is one of the most significant information for me.
    And i’m glad reading your article. But want to remark on some general
    things, The web site style is wonderful, the articles
    is really excellent : D. Good job, cheers

  7. I just couldn’t depart your web site before suggesting that I actually enjoyed the standard information a person provide for your visitors? Is gonna be back often to check up on new posts

  8. I’ve been exploring for a little for any high-quality articles or blog posts in this kind of house . Exploring in Yahoo I ultimately stumbled upon this web site. Reading this info So i am satisfied to show that I have a very just right uncanny feeling I discovered exactly what I needed. I such a lot certainly will make certain to do not omit this web site and provides it a look on a continuing basis.

  9. I like the helpful info you provide in your articles. I will bookmark your weblog and check again here frequently. I’m quite certain I’ll learn many new stuff right here! Best of luck for the next!

  10. You really make it appear so easy along with your presentation but I to find this topic
    to be really something which I believe I’d never understand.
    It sort of feels too complex and extremely extensive for me.
    I’m having a look ahead in your next put up, I will
    attempt to get the hang of it!

  11. Hey there! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with Search Engine Optimization? I’m
    trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good success.
    If you know of any please share. Many thanks!

  12. Hey there! This post could not be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my old room mate! He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this page to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Thanks for sharing!

  13. Good day I am so grateful I found your web site, I really found you by mistake, while I was searching on Yahoo for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say thanks for a marvelous post and a all round interesting blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read it all at the moment but I have bookmarked it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the awesome job.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: